Hey you, I saw that.

Can I just say that I LOVE people watching? It's great to see the ridiculous crap people do when they think no one's looking. I get a kick out of that lady in the grocery store who looks around neurotically before eating a grape from the produce section. She always has that panicked look on her face like if someone sees her she's gonna get thrown to the ground and tazed. It's a grape, lady..chill, I'm pretty sure you're not going to get arrested. Then there's the chick who you see wiggling around lifting one leg up awkwardly, you know that bitch has a wedgie. Hunny, just pick it and move on, you're not fooling anybody. We know what you're up to. One of my favorites though is the girl who gets dressed in her car. You ever seen this? I don't fully understand it, mostly because it usually happens in store parking lots. Do they not realize stores have bathrooms? Not only does changing in a bathroom reduce the risk of folks seeing your pale ass, but it's just easier. Have you ever tried to change your clothes in a car? Well, I have in a pinch and I gotta say, putting pants on while sitting in a confined space is tricky shit. If there's a bathroom within walking distance, I really recommend using it. I must say though, I have a hard time not messing with the chicks I see doing this. I mean, they always look around to make sure no one is walking by but they seem to forget to check if anyone is in the car parked next to them. One of these days I'm gonna cave in, roll my window and yell "Hey you, nice rack!" just to see how she reacts. I bet you $10 she never changes in her car again. I do prefer to watch women over men though, and no I don't have a thing for chicks. I've just come to realize watching guys can totally creep you out. We all know men are perverted but that's from seeing the shit they do when they know we're watching. They do much worse things when they think no one's paying attention. Like the guy who's practically running into walls because he's too busy looking at a girls ass to watch where he's going. Or worse, the creepy bastard who carefully slides his iPhone between the legs of girls wearing skirts and snaps pics of their cookies. I mean really dude? Stop being a sexual predator and go download some porn like everyone else. But, I guess the moral of this story is: Be careful what you do in public, because there's always some bored and easily amused person such as myself noticing the crap going on around them.