2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
5. Answer their questions with questions.
6. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
7. Stutter on the letter "p."
8. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
9. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
10. Change your accent every three seconds.
11. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Narcotics Anonymous, right?"
12. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
13. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
14. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
15. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
16. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
17. Call to complain about service. Call back 5 minutes later and say you were drunk and
didn't mean it.
18. Be as vague as possible in your order.
19. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
20. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
